Last days at proctor -- weekly reflection #2

 Meg Patrick 

May 22

Weekly reflection #2

This week went by a bit slower than the previous week. As I sat down to write this reflection, I tried to think of what I learned this week and whether or not there were surprises or expectations. What I realized was that this week was not at all what I had expected. In terms of our senior project, not much has changed. We got some more work done in the mornings, went on some nice hikes, got active and golfed, walked, and progressed our ideas on the logistics of our trip. What I have just realized is that this week tested my emotional state regarding leaving proctor. I kept getting in mindsets where I felt like I just wanted to escape and that proctor felt so small. I honestly couldn't articulate what these emotions were but I was frustrated and sad. I am now sitting down and reflecting on the week while my three good friends of four years sit next to me and I now recognize what those feelings were. I subconsciously was pushing away and disconnecting to my last days at proctor because it just doesn't seem real. I recognize that this isn't what my weekly reflections are supposed to address but this week was affected by these feelings. Proctor has supported me in ways I cant even try to give back. I was passing my friends and teachers on the sidewalks or in the dining hall for the last time after four years and I just couldn't deal with it so I disregarded my friends and surroundings. I now sit here reflecting on the week and my mindset for the remainder of my time at proctor will be to indulge in it all and thank my surroundings even if it might be hard. Apart from the emotions this week, we were pretty productive and our trip is really coming together. This trip will be an awesome capstone to graduating Proctor.